If life is a mistery, then death is even more so.
People ask me: 'Will it hurt?'
How can I answer that? I haven't experienced it yet. I don't know.
The usual protocol is administering an overdose of anesthetic directly into the venous system, if possible, and appropriate. The methods that are approved by the professional codex vary depending on the animal species, and circumstance. They have been outlined in a way where the physical pain related to the procedure is at the lowest possible level for the animal being euthanised.
I still very much dislike doing them.
I am also sometimes extremely grateful that I had the chance to end someone's pain, misery and discomfort.
It seems to me that all of us, veterinarians and vet nurses, somehow keep a cool head while doing them. Sometimes, without a blink of an eye or a shake of the hand.
However, I believe all of us carry the weight of them emotionally, knowingly or unknowingly.
We become desensitized. Not present. Almost on auto pilot, trying to cope within our own self to do the job we are asked to do.
Many times people have been unpleasant to me during the consult beforehand, and the situation afterwards. I have forgiven each and every one of them. I saw their pain, facing loss of a closest friend, with a complete stranger. Having to make that decision. It is not easy. It is extremely difficult.
Many times, I have cried myself.
I find it easier to cope with the procedure if I allow myself to be present. I try to be there, it hurts, it is unreal that I am administering a medication to end somebodies life, but I call myself back into the moment whenever I catch myself trying to escape into auto-pilot.
I would love for everyone, if we were notified about these procedures in advance, to be able to prepare ourselves better.
To not rush from consult, into euthanasia, back into consult.
I would love to have a lovely environment where the last sounds and smells are relaxing to the animals and the owners, if they wish to stay for the procedure.
Most of all, I would love to never have to do them again.
But I will.
Sometimes with grace, poise and gratitude, and other times with knots in my throat and shaking hands.
My personal advice to anyone facing this heartbreaking decision is to opt for a housecall if possible. I believe it must be much less stressful for the animal when they don't leave the comfort of their home.
Will it hurt?
It will hurt all of us. There is no such thing as the right time to lose a best friend. But we must separate kindness from empathy, and let them go while they have some dignity left.